O’ to find Jesus Christ all sufficent. We need not look to anyone else or anything to find our affimation and confidence. I have been relishing in the understanding I am a loved child of God, adopted into His family, free to enjoy the benefts of being in God’s household. Should any set back whether, career goals, painful memories of the past, or what others think of you determine your identity and confidence? May the security and the affirmation we find in a relationship with Jesus allow us to hold our heads up high, and walk around with a sense of peace that only the Lord can give. Stop trying to find your self worth in work success, relationships, and acquiring material goods, instead find it in the sweet realization of who you are in Christ, a loved child of God. (read 2 Samual 9)
It seems like in my walk with the Lord over the past few months that as I have been seeking Him for blessing over the ministry and the Impact Kids meetings that He wants more of me. In a season of ambition, plans and vision for the never ending push to see the horizons of ministry expand I have been awakened to the emptiness of seeking God’s benefits without relationship. It really is empty at the end of the day and disappointing when God says ‘NO’ to request no matter how eager you knock on the ‘Doors of Heaven’.
I have been debating in my mind, do I need to persist in the ‘asking’ like the persistent widow seeking justice from a judge? Perhaps, but there has been a prompting to look deeper in my prayer life, a quest to examine the state of my heart relationship with God.
My soul searching this new year has resulted in a realization that my love for ministry, and progress has strongly competed for my affections for Jesus Christ. While praying for great impact in the world, energy, love and passion for God has been sucked dry.
Seeing the passion dwindle I have been praying for a hunger and thirst for God himself- not a hunger and thirst to pray for more inpact in the world but a eagerness to rest in the arms of Jesus.
In addition I pray for a hunger and thirst for His Word. I want to saturate myself in scripture meditation.
Last, I have been holding off on talking so much to the Lord in my prayer life and instead doing more listening and waiting.
In the end I don’t want to have spent my days loving ministry more than God. What would it gain me if great impact was made in the world for the Kingdom and my passion and affection for Christ conisted of a tiny spark?
Well, I know all it takes is a spark to get a fire going- May God fan the flame of love for Him through practicing more of His presence, through simply enjoying Him, reading His Word, and doing more listening to what He has to say.
“One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple. ” Psalm 27:4